dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
