Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
