We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
