I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
