so that wasnt chicken after all
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
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Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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