I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
