Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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