i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
