So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks