You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
no, he came in my armpit
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.