he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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