Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
