I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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