first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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