Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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