Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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