In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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