You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
