I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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