I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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