Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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