I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
