Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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