Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
