my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
