No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
