whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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