get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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