Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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