They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
