Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
