Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
