She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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