His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
