I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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