Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize