just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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