I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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