At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
