Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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