my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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