dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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