Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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