That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
