it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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