I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
