Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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