he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
