Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
