never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
