Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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