You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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