Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
