I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
