Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
