God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
