So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
