My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
