He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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