Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
there is glitter all over my balls
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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