Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
