if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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