the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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