Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
FUCK WHALES
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
